


Homefree

by AlphaWolfGoddess



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Karkat Swearing, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-02-10 05:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2013588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlphaWolfGoddess/pseuds/AlphaWolfGoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So many players dead. Lord English killed most of them.<br/>He pissed off the wrong group of teenagers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Ultimate Prize

Karkat's grip on his sickles was tight enough he could have snapped Crabdad's arm off. It was a fucking miracle that the weapons stayed in one piece. 

Karkat refused to look at his body.

Gamzee howled and jumped Lord English, and dug his claws deep into the cherub's skin as the green skull monster waved his arm, trying to dislodge the clown from his body. Jake and Jade fired bullets at Lord English's feet, tripping him. Caliborn bellowed and kicked out a well as swinging his big ass gun around. 

_I will not look. I will not look--_

AH NOOKSNIFFER! Karkat LOOKED!

John was a bloody mess on the floor, his god tier pajamas torn and stained the bright red of his human blood. Fury choked up in his throat. The fuckass had shoved Karkat out of Lord English's way and took the hit for the troll. Karkat remembered how John's body jerked as his body filled with bullets. Then his semi-immortality went "Oh, well! That was a heroic move, time for the buck toothed idiot to die!"

 _Fuck_ Lord English or Caliborn or whatever the fuck his name was. _Fuck_ John and his heroics. _Fuck_ Karkat's flushed feeling for the dead fuckass. _Fuck_ John an his "I'm not a homosexual." Yes! He still remembered the idiot's words. **_Fuck_** this game, all in all.

God, he didn't just pity the moron.

Karkat loved him.

With a roar he charged, leaping over Jane's body. He sliced his blades down Lord English's arm, the cherub's red blood pouring onto his face. The sticky liquid slid across his face, into his nose, his mouth. Karkat resisted the urge to throw up all over the weirdly colorful robe.

This son of a fuck was asking to die. He killed so many of them. Roxy, Jane, Terezi, Kanaya, Dirk, and John.

He even killed off sprites. Nanasprite and Jaspersprite put up a good fight before Lord English managed to destroy them.

As it is Erisolsprite was auguring with himself as he placed attacks on the green asshole. "fuck you thon of a wwhale. Thon of a wwhale? wwhat the fuck are you talking, ii thhiit--"

Arquiusprite held a spear... Wait... No... What the fuck was he holding? It was like a broken bow with a blade fused to the side. Whatever. 

"Karkat!" The troll turned and spotted the all to familiar blonde human in the god tier Light pajamas. She held her bloody knitting needles tightly, the black magic bleeding into the air. She shouted something at him, but it was lost in Lord English's bellow, "I HATE YOU ALL, YOU STUPID TROLLS AND-- AND YOU STUPID HUMANS!"

Karkat clung tighter to his sickles, but it was no use. He was flung off, but not without taking a good chunk of flesh with him. He landed on Terezi's mangled corpse with a loud squish. He winced and rolled off of the body. At least Gamzee didn't ditch the battle to steal their dead friend's body. They needed the lunatic clown. No matter how much it pained Karkat to admit.

Karkat bounced up, settling into a defensive posture. "WHAT?" He shouted at Rose.

"Just keep him distracted!"

Karkat snorted, more than happy to follow Rose's order. He leapt forward and dug his sickles into Caliborn's flesh and began to climb. Lord English roared in pain and from the corner of Karkat's eyes he saw Rose with Calliope, Lord English's sister.

Ignoring that he swung underneath Lord English's arm, narrowly missing a round of bullets coming from Jake's gun. "WATCH IT, JACKASS!"

"Sorry about that, my good friend!" Karkat only had time to huff and roll out of Caliborn's failing hand to keep from being squished.

But suddenly, there was a flash of bright green light. It blinded Karkat momentarily and he lost his grip on one of his blades. He blinked to clear his vision and carefully swung himself up to grasp the sickle one more.

Dave suddenly came flying in, his Welsh sword glowing green and white. His dark sunglasses reflected the light, looking even more dangerous. Then in a calm voice he spoke to Caliborn. "No one. Fucks with my friends."

With a lunge, silence fell quite quickly. Then the sound of blood and flesh sliding sounded, and Lord English's masive head dropped to the ground. His body quickly followed and Karkat barely made it off in time.

Karkat stood next to the remainder of his friends. Dave drove his blade down into the ground, Jade had lost her gun along the way somewhere, and Erisolsprite was oddly quite.

Then the light formed.

The familiar pure white light. The ultimate prize. But, Karkat didn't want to be the one to grab it. Not without his co-leader. Not without John. But it had to be done. Egbert would want him to. They worked hard to get there. Karkat shouldn't throw it all way because the human he came to love is deader than a skinned catfish on Thanksgiving (damn Rose for teaching him human cultures in the three boring years he had to wait getting to this session).

  Karkat turned and walked forward, toward the prize. It took two years of knowing all of the humans in person to defeat Lord English. Two years, it took Karkat to finally admit his feelings weren't pale, ashen or black. That they were as red as the mutant blood flowing through his asscrap blood stream. 

Karkat reached into the light thinking of those unnaturally bright blue eyes, his endearing buck toothed smile, and happily flushed face. Then his thoughts turned to how his eyes clouded over, the blood draining from his face and no matter who or how many times someone kissed that buck toothed mouth his heart wouldn't regain it's steady tempo. It hurt so bad.

His clawed finger touched the prize. And all he could think of was how perfect it would be. If all of his friends were alive and living in a world where humans and trolls lived in peace. If only he could live a life with John.

The world flashed bright white, and his last thought before he lost consciousness and breath was two words. One name.

_John Egbert._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first fanfic!! HUZZA!!  
> I'm a dork. ;o)  
> Any how I have bad Internet connection so hang with me, kay?  
> Okay.  
> Goodbye my lovelies! Until we meet again!  
> ~~HoNk :o)


	2. The Ultimate Prize

**== > Karkat: Wake up.**

_No, fuck you._

**== >**

*snore*

**== > Karkat: Wake up.**

I thought I told you to fuck off

**== > WAKE UP.**

_Go bother Egbert._

**== > I thought John was dead.**

_Oh, FUCK._

Karkat jerked upright and glanced around the room. The darkness reminded him faintly of home. The smell of mold and water perfumed the air. Oh. Wait.

Karkat was in a cave.

He struggled to his feet, slipping on the damp ground. Something moaned loudly to his left.

His sickles were in his hand in a flash. He lifted them up high and bared his teeth. The shadows shifted, and a long horn came into the slight light that filtered through the opening that Karkat... couldn't see...

"K-- Kar-- Karkat?"

Karkat blinked and stared down into a familiar pair of eyes. "Tavros?"

"Y-yeah," came the shaky reply.

Karkat sighed and put his sickles away. He leaned over the bronze blood and looked him over. "Ah, Tavros?"

"Y-yeah?"

"You have no legs."

The troll had on his Taurus shirt and boxers, thank god. Tavros looked down and blinked, "Oh."

"Yeah, oh. I need to find a fucking way to get you moving. We need to find a way out of..." Karkat glanced around, "here."

Tavros shifted and glanced to his right. "I-I think there are-- like-- vines o-or something, o-over there. On-- on the wall."

Karkat wandered over to where the other troll pointed out. Soon he hand multiple vines and was tying them into a harness. When he walked over to Tavros, Karkat knelt down so Tavros could strap him self on. When Tavros was secured, he wrapped his arms limply around Karkat's neck. He lifted Tavros up, grunting as he did so. "Holy _Jegus_ , Nitram, your shit heavy. You fucking own me."

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize, fuckass." Karkat started forward, toward the source of light. "That's like handing a starving lioness a injured hoofbeast and going, okay giant female clawbeast. No do not eat the innocent mammal. Do you think it's going to listen to your shit? FUCK no!"

"S-sorry."

Karkat sighed and shook his head, speeding up.

***

**== > Karkat: Throw a tantrum.**

No problem.

"IT'S ALL THE FUCKING SAME! WE'VE BEEN MOVING FOR A GOD SHITTY HOUR AND NOTHING SEEMS TO CHANGE! THIS IS THE PRIZE? YOU BULGESUCKING PIECE  OF SHIT, WHO EVER YOU ARE! ARE YOU JUST SET ON HAVING ME TOTE AROUND MY DISABLED FRIEND ON MY BACK! A PRIZE OF HAVING US TRAPPED IN A MISERABLE CAVE FOR THE GOD FUCK REST OF OUR LIVES? HUH, WELL DO YOU?" 

Tavros shifted slightly on Karkat's back. "Uh, K-Karkat?"

"I-- WE DON'T EVEN KNOW IF ANYONE ELSE IS ALIVE! IS IT ONLY TAVROS AND I? I NEED FUCKING ANSWERS YOU NOOKSNIFFER!" Karkat tilted his head back and lead out a frustrated roar. Who was alive? Where is everyone?

"Ugh, Karbro, keep it down will you? I have a motherfuckin headache."

Karkat froze; and turned.

Gamzee was sprawled across a rock on his back, half upside down.   
Tavros' mouth opened, Karkat could feel it against his neck. "G-Gamzee?"

"Yo, Tavbro. Did Karkat motherfuckin up and kidnap you?" came a grunting reply.

"Oh-- um-- no."

"Mm, good," Gamzee hummed.

"You fuckass," Karkat snarled. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Waiting out this motherfuckin headache. I walk out of the shit crap, ass... God, I can't fucking think straight. Any fuckin how, I walk out of this cave, and instantly I up and get a motherfucking headache. It's damn bright out there. Jegus..."

Karkat tensed up, "Wait, you know where the fucking exit is? You nooksniffing _bastard_!"

"Bro, it's, like five feet away."

"WHAT?" Karkat charged forward and in no time at all, he was outside. Karkat moved some vines out of his way to stare down at the bright sparkling blue river that flowed around the cave entrance. They where in a forest, all of the trees had silver leaves with blood red bark. The grass was purple and the bushes were the same color as the tree leaves. Stars were dotted across the atmosphere, green clouds drifted peacefully, and a all to familiar bright green sun glowed in a dark blue sky.  Gamzee was right, it was bright.

"Wow," Tavros whispered. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah," he found himself whispering against his better instincts. Shit.

"It's damn bright, motherfuckers!" Gamzee's voice shouted from behind.

Tavros sighed and Karkat rolled his eyes. "Got that much Gamzee. But, we gotta keep moving. We can't stay in this fucking cave forever."

Gamzee appeared next to them, squinting at the sights around them. _"Really?"_

Tavros answered for him, "Y-yes, Gamzee. I-- uh-- agree with Karkat. We should-- uh, you know-- probably keep moving."

Gamzee heaved an overdramatic sigh. "If you say so, Tavbro. Lead the way, my motherfuckin brother."

Karkat gave Gamzee a nasty sneer before snorting, "Whatever."

Okay, maybe Karkat was still pissed at Gamzee for breaking off their palerom. Maybe a little.

"Karbro, I can take Tavbro if you want," Gamzee stopped Karkat with a clawed hand on his arm.

"Fine, whatever. Just don't drop him," Karkat growled as he undid the vines around his waist. When they dropped, Gamzee caught Tavros and swung him onto his back. The purple blood haphazardly tied the vines around his narrow waist, making Karkat grit his teeth. Tavors clung tightly to Gamzee's neck as he bounce happily after Karkat who began to pick his way to the bank of the river.

He gripped the vines next to him tightly as he shifted his feet over slippery black stone. They quickly reach the river's edge only to see their cave was a half under water cave in the middle of a giant  river. Yippee.

"We have to fucking swim? Do I seem like I can swim. Swimming is for prissy ass seadwellers! I'm not a fucking highblooded son of a--"

A hoofbeast head popped out of the water. Karkat let out a squeak and jerked away from dark head peaking out of the water.

Gamzee laughed loudly and patted one of the two horses that in the water. Wait, no they weren't normal horses. They had gills on their necks and fish tails blended into their torso. Where their front legs where meant to be were large rounded fins. "Holy _shit_ ," was all Karkat could say.

Tavros chuckled once than stuttered out, "S-sorry Karkat. I p-probably should-- should have w-warned you."

Karkat sneered at the rust blood, "You think?"

Tavros blushed and Gamzee laughed and jumped onto the back of the light blue hoofbeast. "Whoa! This motherfucker is slippery."

"Well," Karkat snapped as he climbed on the back of the black animal. "What the fuck did you expect?"

"I dunno. Fur? Sure as not motherfuckin slime."

Tavros chuckled and made a weird noise in the back of his throat. Suddenly the creatures lurched off the stoney bank and into the water, but kept the trolls above in the air. Water Slapped against Karkat's leg, the water horse (ha) sped through the water and they were soon standing on the other black pebbled bank as Tavros thanked the animals. Gamzee skipped and bounced the leg less Tavros around happily. "Yo Tavbro I think that this is the perfect time to throw down some motherfuckin rhymes--"

"If you start rapping at this fucking moment, I will not hesitate to shove my sickles into you fucking mouths and cut out your FUCKING. TONGUES."

"Man," Gamzee laughed. "Karkat, my motherfuckin bro, you need to loosen up."  
"You both are the worest rappers in the fucking universe. Oops, sorry did I hurt your little bulgesucking feelings? Well here's news! I DON'T FUCKING CARE NOOKSNIFFERS!"  
Tavros blinked, and Gamzee just smiled over at the panting troll. He forgot to breath during his small rant.

They walked for a while, marking the trees by wiping a tiny bit of clown makeup on the dark red tree bark. They walked through the forest until the trolls heard all to familiar voices. 

"Janey, Janey. Calm downn."

"Clam down? Roxy you were dead. I was dead. Now we are not. We are alive. In this weird place. Alone."

"Sis, you ain't alone," Gamzee called out laughing.

"Gamzee? Karkat? Some dude that looks familiar but for the life of me, I can't name?" Roxy's slurred voice called out.

"Oh, thank god!" Jane rushed over, Roxy slowly following behind. Worry etched across her features, "Do you know what's going on? Where are we?"

"No fucking clue," Karkat responded.

Roxy snorted, "Lovely."

Gamzee laughed loudly. "Very! Us motherfuckers have been going all up on this forest's mother fucking ass."

Jane gave the clown a blank look, "What are you talking about?"

"We've been walking around this fucking forest all day," Karkat translated. "We haven't found any intelligence in the animals on this planet quite yet. We have no clue to who is alive or how you are alive."

Roxy glanced at Karkat, her lips pursed in thought. "Interesting," she whispered to herself.

"Miracles," Gamzee sighed.

Jane ignored Gamzee. "Perhaps we should keep moving. I've noticed that the days are longer here than on Earth. But as the Green Sun sets, the plants get a darker shade, see?"

Jane walked over an d touched one of the grey leaves. "Huh," Karkat grunted noticing the difference. Earlier the leaves had been a bright silver. The bark was darker as well as the grass, which made them look almost black.

"Yeah," Karkat nodded. "Let's keep moving. Until some sort of moon comes up or something."

Noises of agreement sounded about and they plunged forward.They only stopped when Gamzee's voice sounded, "Yo, motherfuckers. I can up and see shit nothing."

It was true; they were stumbling around blindly in the dark. A yellow bright moon the only source of light in the pitch black. The plant life had darkened and the stars dissapeared. "Yeah, let's settle down for the night."

Gamzee set Tavros down and wandered to the side. Roxy and Jane sat down close next each other, huddled up. Karkat eased down by himself and leaned onto his back. Gamzee came back with a bunch of dead wood and set it in the middle of the circle. "Do any of you motherfuckers have the miracle of fire?"

"H-here," Tavros stuttered as orange flames leaped from the wood.

Awhile later Karkat shouted in surprise and jumped to his feet. A dog stood in front of him. It peered up at the troll with big green eyes, his black nose flaring. The candy red fur on the dog's body hung tightly to it's body, showing it's ribs. Poor thing looked starving.  
Karkat glanced over and saw that Tavros and the girls were sleeping soundly

 Karkat sat down and reached forward. It's eyes darted between his face and his hand. Slowly but surely it placed it's snout into his grey palm. Karkat allowed a small smile and stroked the dog's head lovingly. With a quick glance, he deemed the beautiful animal a female.

"Hey there, sweetheart," he cooed. "You hungry?"

She just looked at him with those soul searching eyes. Karkat quickly grabbed the left over jerky he and Dave had made right before the battle. Karkat had tons of the stuff. He held out the dried meat and the dog happily ate it. Karkat smiled and patted her side, as she settled down close next to him. "Good girl."

"Miracles, brother," Gamzee whispered softly.

Karkat glanced over to where he rested with Tavros, "For once I agree."

Gamzee sat up, a sad look in his eyes. "Look, Karkat. I-- I've been up and thinking hard on our motherfucking relationship."

"What is there to think about?" Karkat interrupted, "You broke off our moirallegiance. There is nothing to fucking think about."

"But, brother," Gamzee sighed. "There is motherfuckin things to think about. I wasn't thinking straight when I up and did that."

Karkat scratched behind the dog's ear. "What the fuck are you pouring out of the concave on your Faygo sucking... face."

Gamzee smirked, "That was motherfucking terrible, Karbro. Was that even an insult?"

"Shut up, I'm tired."

Gamzee sighed. "I now know that I up and made a mistake when I motherfucking broke up our miracle of a moirallegiance. You know how to up and keep me calm, motherfucker. Your my best brother, and I miss my moirail, Karkat. Please," Gamzee turned and looked deep into Karkat's eyes. "Let me be your moirail again, and you mine?"

"Gamzee," Karkat sighed and rubbed the now sleeping dog's side. "I can't just fucking forgive you like you haven't put me through a bunch of shit. Because, bulgesucker, you fucking did, Gamzee. You did."

"I know that I'm a huge motherfucker, but--"

"Gamzee, just let me think about it okay?" Karkat whispered, lying down again. He turned his back on the purple blood and snuggled into the dog. He had become already attached to the sweet thing.

Karkat quickly fell asleep to the rise and fall of the dog's chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I thought about writing more but I decided it was good enough of a chapter. Oh and just so you know, I will add new characters to this story.  
> Okay, adios!  
> I don't speak Spanish.  
> •*•HONK ;op


	3. Null & Void

**== >**

Karkat yawned and stretched, absently patting the dog's side. She lifted her head and licked Karkat's nose. Karkat resisted the urge to giggle like a wiggler.

Karkat stiffened and looked down. The clown's arms were wrapped securely around his waist, his face nuzzling into the red blood's neck. It took all of his will power not to kick the highblood to the Green Sun.

Karkat yanked away from Gamzee, who stayed deep in sleep, and stood up. He handed the dog a piece of dried meat and looked around. Everything was slowly brightening, slightly blinding him. 

Karkat walked around the makeshift camp and looked down at the other heroes. Jane, Roxy and Tavros all slept in a pile of flesh and horns. It was kind of an odd sight.

"ALRIGHT, FUCKASSES! EVERYONE UP!" Karkat shouted and began to pace, "WE NEED TO FIND SOME SORT OF INTELLIGENT LIFE FORM ON THIS PLANET!" 

Tavros yawned widely and Jane helped him sit up. Roxy groaned and mumbled about needing booze. Jane and Tavros giggled at her while Gamzee stretched out his long frame. The barkbeast jumped up and ran to Karkat's side. She peered up at the troll with emerald eyes, shining with adoration. She needs a name, Karkat wondered faintly. I wonder--

"Wh-- Hey, uh... whats that?"

Karkat turned and looked down at Tavros who was pointing at something while being propped up by Jane. Karkat looked at toward where Tavros was pointing and saw large buildings reaching into the sky. Oh fuck. There is their intelligent life forms. Hopefully.

"Whoa, motherfucking way to go, my brother."

"Hoo hoo! Wonderful, Tavros!"

"Mrrrs.."

Roxy wasn't quite awake.

"Well," Karkat turned and looked at the group. "What are you fuckers waiting for? An invitation? Get your asses up!"

**== > Abscond.**

Tavros was whining loudly. It was pissing Karkat off. Tavros wouldn't shut up about how much he hated to be lunged around like a helpless grub. Gamzee just walked on with him on his back, a grin plastered on the clown's face.

Karkat slashed angrily at a bush, snarling wordlessly. The barkbeast padded silently behind the angry troll, and Jane and Roxy followed.

Soon they burst through the underbrush  into a clearing, much closer to the complexes they had seen. A small stream ran through the small clearing, likely to have been a run off from the earlier river. A few small trees littered along the stream, different from the others that they had seen before. The trees had fruit on them. The bushes as well, seemed to have berries on them. It was odd that they haven't seen these sort of plants before. 

Tavros cleared his throat. "Uh- um, the ba-barkbeast can show us what is, uh.. eatable."

Karkat frowned as the dog lurched forward and ran up to a sliver bush with shining blue thorns and magenta berries on them. She began to bark softly. Jane walked over and picked a few and brought them back to the group, handing each of them some. "Wait a fucking second! What if these are poisonous?"

"Tastes like cotton candy, nubby," Roxy popped the rest into her mouth.

Soon, everyone was snacking on the berries. Karkat feed the dog half of his. They cleared the bush of the sweet tasting berries in no time. Gamzee picked up Tavros and ran to the stream. Jane stood up and dragged Roxy to pick berries, most likely for a cake later. Or some sort of pastry. 

Meh, whatever. It didn't concern him. As long as they didn't die.

Karkat laid back onto the purple grass, arms behind his head. The dog curled up against the troll's side, sighing. Karkat watched the green clouds rolled by, thinking deeply. This was the ultimate prize. This is the universe that the troll's and human's games came up with. Based on the buildings they saw earlier, a mix between hive complexes and human "apartment" buildings, there maybe a good chance of trolls and humans coexisting peacefully. Or so Karkat hoped. But why had they all lost their semi-immortality? Was it because they had died? Or was it because the game was over? Where was the Heir of Breath? Was the fuckass even alive? What if he died in death as well? Fuck, it's something that Egbert would unfortunately do.

"Who are you?" A strange voice penetrated his thoughts, "You look lost."

**== > Karkat: kill the weird girl.**

_NO! What the fuck?!_

Karkat jumped up and got into a defensive stance.

A little fucking late for that, bulgemuncher!

A girl stood not ten feet away, holding a dark red basket. Her long, white, spiky hair was puffed out, her bangs hanging half across her right eye. The fins on her head fluttered as sh-- hold on a fucking second!

Fins. The girl had seadweller fin ears. Her eyes were purple, human. But the violet tinged gills on her neck was defiantly not human. She wore a tight purple shirt with small, complex black swirling designs scrawled across the fabric. Long, dark jeans with holes in them and black sneakers. Pale (human!) skin, full purplish lips. WHAT THE _FUCK_?!

"Who the fuck are you?" Karkat growled lowly, the dog next to him growling as well.

"Name is Haven Cotton, thank you very much!" She snorted, "Now will you return the favor and tell me your name?"

The troll growled and snarled in reply, "Vantas. Karkat Vantas!"

"Very James Bond, Karkat. It's a gorgeous sound to my ears. Like classical music!"

"Haven," a new troll came up behind the odd girl. He had a black t-shirt with a large fuchsia X on the front of it. He had grey skinny jeans and fuchsia shoes with black tips. He had a calm expression, his horns were long and stood straight, tilted outward ever so slightly. His hair was styled oddly, in a point at the top Karkat couldn't quite explain...

"Dude, your head looks like a Hershey kiss!" Roxy chirped happily. 

The troll blinked, "Excuse me?"

"Yeaaaah, this is my moirail and he has a weird hair style. I keep telling him to change it but he doesn't. Oh well. Rexton, this is Karkat Vantas!" Haven motioned to Karkat with a clawed hand.

"Hello," he spoke in a deep, smooth voice. "I am Rexton Plazke. I see you have met my moirail, Haven?"

Karkat snorted, and the dog glanced up at the mutant. The rest of the group wandered back over. "Hello! I'm Jane Crocker." Jane held out a hand and shook Rexton's hand.

"Roxy," she smirked and winked at Rexton, "wonk."

Rexton blinked in surprise and Haven grinned. "Hey, motherfuckers. I'm..." Gamzee zoned out, again.

"Gamzee," Karkat growled. "He's Gamzee Makara. Fucking highblooded clown. Shit ass crazy."

"Okaaaay then," Haven muttered to Rexton. Karkat sneered at her.

"H-hi I'm, uh, Tavros... um T-Tavros Nitram."

"Hi Tavros!" Haven grinned but then blinked. " _OMG_ Rex, this guy doesn't have any _legs_! We gotta help them!"

"Haven, I don't know..."

"Pleaaaase Rex! They need help and clearly don't understand where they are! The might be castaways!"

Rexton sighed and looked at them, "You need help?"

Haven squealed.

**== > Karkat: Accept offer.**

_No shit, nookstain._

After Karkat accepted the invite, they helped Haven gather a sour but not bad tasting fruit with a aquamarine coloring. She explained that it made a wonderful jam, and was willing to share. Karkat didn't coment, just worked with the dog sleeping at his feet. Not long after, they were following the moirails along a dirt path that they would've never of found without them. Haven talked about nothing useful, just gossip about people Karkat couldn't give two fucks and a skip about. But Roxy was intrigued, talking to Haven and flirting with Rexton shamelessly. Jane and Gamzee just laughed while Tavros listened silently.

Karkat froze when they came to a yellow paved road with shining bronze lines on it. There was a sign on the side with a bench next to it. The sign said in both troll alternian and human english, bus stop. Immediately Karkat felt uneasy. "Will Candy be able to get on?"

"Candy?" Haven blinked.

Karkat laid a clawed hand on the dog's head. "Fuck yes. Her name is Candy, do you have a fucking problem with it?" 

"Nah, nubby," Roxy beamed. "It's just... so cute."

"Fuck off, Lalonde!"

"Yes," Rexton sighed. "The dog can come on the bus. Allergies are a thing of the past."

"Really?" Jane inquired.

"Yeaaaah," Haven laughed a bit. "They cured them all when they had a problem with a seadweller who was allergic to water..."

"Wow, awkward!" Roxy laughed.

"Pretty much," Haven chirped.

Karkat resisted to urge to rip his ears off or shove his sickles deep into them. He wondered faintly, how did he live with these twats for years on end?

Soon, THANK GOG, a bus pulled up and opened the door. They all piled on, Rexton sitting down in an empty seat, Roxy siting next to him. Oddly, Haven grabbed a bar that hung from the ceiling and flipped upside down, hanging there. When Karkat looked, he saw half of the small amount of passengers hanging by this bar. Roxy watched with curiosity and Jane looked confused next to Roxy. Gamzee didn't do either, just set Tavros down on Jane's lap and swung his lanky self up. He smiled lazily at Karkat who sat down across from the others. 

**== > Karkat: Be shit bored.**

NO FUCKING PROBLEM. Nothing is happening. It is taking for-fucking-ever to get wherever they are going.

**== > Karkat: Be Haven.**

Your name is Haven Cotton. And it's aaaall lala land here. You are 1/3 troll, a highblood at that. Your moirail is Rexton Plazke, a level headed highblood. Rare, right? You have a kismesis, at least you think you do. You'd rather not think about her right now.

 You decide to get out of this crazy chick. LIKE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

**== > Haven: Be Rexton. **

Your name is Rexton Plazke, son of Ignuss Plazke and Artemis Rockwell. You have a half brother named Maxii Rockwell, who was a child genius. Ignuss Plazke was the mayor of the city of Breath, the area where you live. Unfortunately, all you have filled is a pale quadrant. And this human hasn't stopped red flirting with you since you first saw the alluring girl. 

You know what? Let's go see what Gamzee is thinking!

**== > Rexton: Be Gamzee.**

You are Gamzee, and you are having a miraculous time here, up and hanging from the ceiling! HONK :o)

Okay you're done with this guy. It's mostly blank space in the clown's head.

**== > Gamzee: Be Candy.**

You don't know why you decided to switch characters like this. You guess you just wanted a change, but can't stand to be these people. So...

Your name is Candy. You are a barkbeast/dog/bitch. You have a candy red coat and brilliant green eyes. You adore the nice/angry troll with nubby horns who gave you food. You don't like the strange thing that smells like fish sticks and berries. You think you'll avoid fish stick lady. It maybe for the better.

Oh! The moving thingy you are on is slowing down! You wag your tail happily, glancing up at your nubby troll man. You don't like it here, it smells like.. BLEACK! That is the only way you can describe it. And fish sticks is filling your senses, clogging them. You need to get off of this moving smelly death trap.

**== > Candy: Be Karkat.**

_Happily!_

Karkat got up from the seat and followed Rexton off and onto a busy street. Haven jumped off last with a large grin, "Welcome to the city of Breath! Population; I have no clue!"

Roxy giggled and Jane glanced around. Karkat frowned over at the weird part-seadweller. "Where are we?"

"Breath, duh! I just said that."

"No! Where the fuck are we!"

"Oh! You are in the contry of Null & Void!"

"Come on," Rexton interrupted. "We need to get to Maxii before he goes wandering off today."

He led everyone into a building to a rounded hive poking out. Rexton stepped up to a door with to triangle windows on it, one upside down and one right side up. The door opened to reveal a figure with short orange hair and pale white, human-like skin. A light gray scarf wrapped around the lanky troll's (?) neck, and he had a plain black shirt on underneath a opened longish, bright red sweater jacket. He had checkered gray and red pants with combat boots under them. His horns looked like Kanaya's but reversed, his eyes hidden by oddly reflective glasses. The troll thing's face remained impassive as he stood there, and with a soft voice of a child he spoke. "Rexton, Haven. How can I help you?"

"Maxii! Little bro! You still have that wheelchair?" Haven chirped, stepping forward.

Maxii nodded, looking a bit uneasy. Haven grinned and Rexton asked, "May we come it? This troll needs the chair."

Maxii sighed sadly and stepped back, allowing them all to enter. Karkat looked around and raised an eyebrow. There was next to nothing in here. A smallish candy red couch sat along one wall, a large black rug with a red heart taking up most of the desing on the circular carpet. There was a small table in one corner and a computer in the other, a television sat opposite of the couch. There was a small kitchen area in the last corner, and only three other doors for other rooms. Maxii lead Gamzee and Tavros over to one door and opened it up to a... junk pile. He told the two trolls to stay where they were and climbed into the mess.

Karkat darted over to the computer, a beat down old thing that didn't look like it would work. Ever. "Hey, nookstain," he called over his shoulder. "You mind if I use this fucked up piece of trash?"

Maxii rolled a wheelchair out of the closet and placed it in front of Gamzee. The clown set the rust blood down gently into the chair. Maxii turned and looked at Karkat, "Fine by me."

Karkat jabbed the on button and waited impatiently for it to start up. When it came to life he tried to download some sort of communication site he could use successfully on this piece of crap, but when he tried both pesterchum and trollian he faced a stream of numbers and letters, blocking him from getting to it. Sollux had secured it long ago, setting a code in place incase someone needed to get in. He had once explained it to Karkat, but Karkat didn't listen thinking he'd ever need to use it. Fuck. He'll need to hack it or something. Double fuck.

We all know how Karkat is with computers..

_Shut the fuck up!_

" _FUCK_ SOLLUX! HE HAD TO MAKE THIS IMPOSSIBLE! FOR ALL I FUCKING KNOW HE PLACED A CODE IN THIS JUMBLED SHIT THAT'LL BLOW UP THIS SHITTY THING IF I GET IT WRONG! WHO THE _FUCK_ DOES THIS?! HALF OF THE PLAYERS CAN'T EVEN USE THE INTERNET PROPERLY, MUCH LESS US--"

Roxy typed three keys and the login for Trollian popped up. Karkat stared at the screen, paused in mid-rant. "There," Roxy smirked. "That wasn't so hard."

Karkat muttered a faint fuck you and logged in. Then he opened a new memo.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] opened memo on board EMERGENCY YOU FUCKERS

CG: FUCK  
CG: I DONT KNOW WHERE THE FUCK EVERYONE IS OR IF ALL OF YOU ASSHOLES ARE EVEN ALIVE MUCH LESS HAVE A FUCKING COMPUTER   
CG: BUT I NEED YOU ALL TO TRY TO ANSWER  
CG: REALLY FUCKING TRY  
CG: I NEED TO KNOW  
CG: WE  
CG: WE NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON  
CG: SO ANSWER YOU NOOKSNIFFERS

Karkat slammed his head down. He didn't know what to say. He just really need to know who was alive and what the hell was going on!

The computer chimed joyfully.

**== > Karkat: look up.**

He stared at the computer, shocked was the first feeling that flowed through him. Then joy. 

Pure happiness.

ectoBiologist [EB] responded to memo.

EB: hey karkat!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.   
> Sorry for taking so long, but I am a bit offended that you think that I'd up and quit on you guys. I'm a struggling freshmen who recently got very sick.   
> Still sick.  
> But I fixed this up the best I could! I got a bit bored at the end, because some incidents happened where I had to rewrite it what feels like 50 times but I managed. I managed.  
>  Welp.   
> Hope you liked.   
> See ya.  
> :o)


	4. Earth

**== > Be JOHN EGBERT**

You try to be JOHN EGBERT. It is hard to become JOHN EGBERT.

**== >**

Slowly you become JOHN EGBERT.

John grunted, something touching his face. "OH! Duke! Did you HEAR that! He made a noise!"

"Rain--"

"HE MOVED!"

"Shut up, Rai--"

"QUITE, QUITE! I THINK _HE'S WAKING UP!"_

John peeled his eyes open and squinted in the bright light. His head pounded, he groaned and rolled over, but didn't make it far before a blonde girl with pink highlights came into his vision. John blinked, confused as the girl smiled brightly. "Hi," she chirped. "I'm Rain! This is my brother Duke," she gestured to the blonde guy standing next to her.

John swayed as the world shifted around him. "Hey," he managed. "I'm-- ugh. I'm John." It wasn't as nearly as cheerful as he wanted, but damn did his head hurt.

"Can you tell us why you and the troll where taking a nap in our backyard?"

"What?" John snapped awake to see that he was tied up to a blue plush couch. How could he not have noticed the plush-like fabric digging into his wrists?

"Yeah," Rain blushed. "Sorry about that! But you had a troll draped across your ass in our backyard. You're just lucky mom and dad are never home. You'd be culled faster than you could say 'guilty for nothing'!"

John winced at her squeaky voice. "What troll?"

Duke raised a slender eyebrow and moved slightly, "This troll."

A troll sat in a chair not five feet away, his head tilted back with his mouth open showing his sharp teeth. His gills flared and his hair was a mess with a purple streak in his bangs. His finned ears flared as he groaned and shifted in the seat. "Wwhat?" A voice came from the troll, "Wwhat the fuck? Wwhere am I?"

"Eridan?" John breathed. He never really talked to the seadweller, but he sort of knew him. The troll blinked his eyes and focused on the human.

"John?"

"Yeah," John glanced at the girl in the blue dress.

"Wwhy the glub am I tied up?"

"Because you're a troll," Duke explained flatly.

"What does that have to do with anything?" John asked.

Rain laughs, "Don't be stupid! _Trolls_ aren't allowed here!"

"Is that my scarf?" Eridan squeaked out.

"Yeah," Rain grinned. "I ran out of rope tying you up, Mr. Troll!"

That explained the softness of John's bonds.

Eridan sneered. "Wwhatevver, pathetic human. I can break through rope," he began to struggle. 

Anger flashed in Duke's eyes. "You can't brake out of those ropes, troll," he snarled. "They are designed to hold your kind down. Rain, call the Feds."

"No, wait!" John called, lurching forward. "You have no clue what we've been through!"

Rain leaned forward. "Then tell us!"

**== >John: TELL THEM**

You tell them. Of course you left out parts of the end because... Well, you can't remember much of the end.

Soon after Rain is untying them. "I can't believe it! Did you hear that, Duke?"

Duke was in a seat, looking stunned.

Eridan rubbed his wrists, a ugly purple mark left on his grey skin. Rain held out the scarf and Eridan snarled as he snatched it from the girl.

"Okay," John shifted, "I have a quick question."

"Shoot," Rain smiled.

"Why did you change your mind suddenly?"

"Yea! Wwhat the fuck is up wwith this carp?!"

"Carp?" Duke made a face.

"Crap," John translated with ease. "It's a fish pun."

"Classic one, too! Landdwwellers," an eye roll.

Eridan stalked over to the couch and sat next to the heir, crossing his arms.

"Well," Rain laughed nervously. "Um... That's kinda hard to explain."

"Wwhale, ya' better try."

Rain glanced at Duke. "Where do I start?"

John gasps and stands up suddenly, hearing something the others don't. Eridan glanced at him, "John?"

Suddenly his PDA was in his hands, he looked down to see a memo. Grey text scrawled across the screen. John didn't have much time to wonder how he only had the PDA and the clothes on his back with him. He smiled and replied to the memo. Then the PDA wasn't in his hands and John was left blinking dumbly. He looked up to see the seadweller scowling at him with the computer clasped in his hand, rings glittering in the sunlight leaking through the window. He glanced at the screen the looked back at the human. "You can talk to Kar later, you hear? Wwe need to glubbin find out wwhere wwe are."

John smiled at the sea troll, "And water we doing here?"

Eridan smirked, "Exactly."

Rain giggled and Duke rolled his eyes. "Alright," Rain smiled. "Well, I'll start with our planet. Then I'll tell you about the legend, that sound okay? Duke?"

Duke shrugged and looked away.

Eridan growled, "Sounds glubbin fine."

John sighed and eyed the PDA in the troll's hand. "Yeah."

Rain smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's a short chapter.. 
> 
> But one this is for sure: I AM SCREWED
> 
> I lost nearly all the notes I had for this fic minus the OCs I created. 
> 
> Insert dirtiest curse words worthy to make Kar blush here: ___________________________
> 
> Plus I love fish puns but I'm shit at them, so sorry for that.
> 
> OMFG MY MOSAIC I MADE JUST FELL OFF THE WALL!! Gtg!!
> 
> I'll update soon, hopefully...
> 
> *passes out*


	5. Alternia

==> Be SOLLUX CAPTOR

You are now SOLLUX CAPTOR. Holy 2hiit! You can 2EE!

Sollux blinked and sat up, his back popping loudly, uncomfortably. He stretched out and looked around. Next to him, Rose Lalonde was sprawled gracefully in the dirt. Sollux tilted his head and saw Aradia staring at him with a smile, ducking into her hood on her god pajamas. "AA?" the mustard blood croaked.

Her eyes glittered in the sunlight as she stood up, "Sollux! Thank goodness! I need to talk to you."

"Thure," he lisped and stood on shaky legs. "Whatth up?"

Aradia looked around, "Sollux..." she sighed. "I'm leaving."

....

"What?"

"I said I'm leaving."

"Why?"

"Well," Aradia smiled, "I don't belong here, not in this new universe."

"Then take me with you!" Sollux latched onto her arm desperately.

The maid of time sighed and pushed his hold off. "No, Sollux, not this time. You belong here, more so then you think. Don't worry," she smiled. "I'll come by when you guys need me! But the dead need me most at the moment."

Sollux stared at the rust blood, red and blue eyes flickering slightly.

"I am sorry Sollux," she kissed his cheek. "But I have to go. See ya later."

Then, she flew off. Leaving Sollux behind.

"Want me to make tea?"

Sollux turned to see the human raised half way out of the ditch, looking up at him. Yellow-green tears then began to drip down the troll's face, "Pleathe..."

==> Sollux: Be the troll girl.

You are now KANAYA MARYAM and you must admit that this is a very complicated situation. Terezi Pyrope was having a staring contest with a troll girl with solid blue eyes. Well, if a blind girl could stare, she would be.

Kanaya had woken up on the side of a road next to a bridge with Terezi draped over your back like a comforter. You kicked her off quite quickly. That was when this troll girl with thick horns curving outwards and down -- much like Karkat's sickles -- stopped on her motorcycle and stared at them with eyes like your libra companion. Only blue instead of red.

The troll had short spiky hair on the left side of her head while the right side was shaven off. Her long bangs almost hung into her eyes but missed by a centimeter. Her lips were full and painted black with lip stick, a X looking scar on her right cheek. She had a thick leather jacket over a neon green shirt with a maroon eye printed across the front. Matching maroon skinny jeans tucked into black biker boots. Seeing all of this made Kanaya's eye twitch. 

It also bothered Kanaya that she didn't bother with a helmet.

"Sup?"

==> Kanaya: Be the seadweller.

You are now FEFERI PEIXES. You are in water.

Holy what?

WATER!!

The familiar sensation of cool liquid flowing through her gills incited her in her slumber.

Her eyes shoot open to see clear dark waters, odd fish twirling around the fish princess. Her trident was griped loosely in her clawed hand as she regained her senses. She turned her head slightly to watch the colorful fish swim through the water, scales shining in the sunlight shifting through the water. Fish from different planets, seen and unknown by the kids drifted around in a school, accepting the princess as on of their own. 

Feferi's hair billowed around her as she sunk slightly, then pushed up, swimming to the surface. Her head broke the surface, flipping her hair, Little Mermaid style... just more troll-ish.

Her eyes squinted behind her goggles as she glanced around, fins fluttering. She turned to look at a arching bridge, dark grey metal standing out against the brightness of the planet. Oddly enough it didn't harm the fish troll's eyes. Glubbing weird.

Feferi glanced across the wide expanse of the wonderful water and swam over to the shore, eyes focusing on the thin outline.

She soon jogged up onto land and looked around again, slowly making her way to the main road.

==> Feferi: Be the human.

You are now ROSE LALONDE. You pour the troll some instant tea -- Earl Grey, your brother would be proud -- and hand it to him, sitting back and packing up the set. 

Sollux sips a bit at the tea and stares blankly at the ground. Rose remains silent, more knowledgeable about troll romance then the other humans to know not to pull a human-pale move on him at the moment. No matter how badly the instinct was and how much he clearly needed it. Tea will work.

It has to, for now.

"We need to start walking," Rose whispered, glancing at the troll.

Sollux just stared down at the metal mug.

"We need to find the others, Mr. Captor."

"Thollux," he sighed, "Fuck not Mr. Captor, maketh me feel old." Then he stood up and looked at the human with sad eyes, "Letth go."

"Very well," Rose stood. She then started down the road, Sollux shuffling after her.

They walked down the paved road in silent, Sollux sipping the tea at points. Then a motorcycle roared pass and seemed to slow. Rose glanced at Sollux who blinked at her. Then they jogged after the bike.

==> Rose: Be the familiar crazy blind chick.

You are now TEREZI PYROPE. You smell a yummy scent of blueberries coming from the new troll on the gas smelling locomotive known as a motorcycle. You could care less.

"Sup?" A voice silky sweet, with a hint of fire lace the female's voice.

Terezi sniffed the air and licked her lips, but stayed silent. She could hear foot steps quickly approaching so she turned her head from the intriguing stranger to sniff the newcomers. A smile blossomed across her face when she tasted Sollux's apple bitterness and Rose Lalonde's raspberry goodness. "Kanaya," the teal blood sang, "your girlfriend is here!"

Terezi heard Kanaya stand and walk toward the two, then break into a run when she saw who it was. "Rose!"

"Kanaya!"

"Is that a human??"

Then Terezi cackled as they embraced. Then she sniffed a new scent, a new familiar scent. "Hey Feferi," Terezi laughed. Sure enough, a damp fish girl appeared out of the reeds.

Then Terezi was being gripped in the shoulders by a firm, yet feminine grasp. "Okay, I have no clue who you are, but I'm going to help."

"Help? Help with what?" Kanaya's voice sounded.

"Please save questions until after the premier," her accent did something crazy with her q's. "Listen, trust me. Okay?" 

"Why thhould we?"

"Because you all look like homeless children wandering the damn continent. You do not want to know what people around hear do to those sorts."

"Sollux, I believe we can trust her," Rose spoke softy. "I don't think she is lying."

Terezi smiled at the troll still gripping her. Seer powers come in handy. The troll really did want to help. But first she needed some help..

"Alright," Terezi laughed. "Just call up someone if ya.. need." 

Terezi smirked as she smelt the other troll's shock, which was quickly cleared off her face. She turned away and whipped out a communicator. Terezi could smell the blue and sense the round shape. Thats about it.

==>

sightlessArtisan [SA] began trolling inkRuminant [IR]

SA: heyy bro~  
IR: what now  
SA: i have a bit of a problem  
IR: izz it your problem or zzomeone elzzezz?  
SA: ...  
IR: zzo itzz not my problem. bye.  
SA: NO WAIT  
IR: what  
SA: its a human  
SA: she is in TROUBLE dude! Please!  
IR: what do i get out of thizz?  
SA: umm  
IR: im waiting  
SA: ill work extra  
IR: oh??  
SA: yes and  
SA: ...  
SA: im sorry for earlier. i was wrong  
IR: hmmm i zztill dont zzee why i zzhould do thizz. it izz a human  
SA: itll get you zztreet cred!  
IR: what? how?  
SA: think, owner of tattoo shop don't give a shit and takes a human under his wing~~  
SA: bluzzo, this will change ~EVERYTHING~ i can feel it  
IR: oh my... hehehe fine. ill take her in  
SA: them  
IR: what?  
SA: hahaha dont q~uestion it  
IR: oh my fucking  
SA: thanks~~~ you wont regret this~~~  
SA: oh by the way, bring the truck out to the Uzzn bridge! Bye~~~

sightlessArtisan [SA] ceased trolling inkRuminant [IR]

IR: fuck

==> Be: Sollux Captor.

You are now Sollux Captor.

The troll turned and slipped her thing back into her pocket in her jacket and turned to them. "I got the okay. Oh! By the by my name is Quilyn Antres."

They all quickly introduced themselves, Terezi inching closer to Quilyn, her nose twitching. "You're blind," Terezi tilted her head. It wasn't really a question.

"Yeah," Quilyn smiled, "I'm a bit special. And so are you."

Terezi laughed maniacally.

"Wait... You were riding a bike?" Sollux glanced at her.

"I did say I was special," she sang slightly. Terezi cackled.

Quilyn smiled and leaned against her bike. "My half brother is coming to pick us up to go to his shop. He owns a tattoo parlor, and I'm his best tattoo artist," she smirked.

Rose blinked, "Impressive."

Quilyn spoke around laughter. "Only regulars trust me near their skin with needles... unless they don't know I'm blind," she snickered.

Then a dark blue truck roared up along the road, rolling to a halt. A muscular troll jumped out. He had no shoes on, tight leather pants and a white tank top. The tank had a odd blue design on the front, two open circles sat side-by-side over a closed circle. He had sharp troll eyes and dark blue bags underneath them. Across his right eye a scar skipped over his eye onto his cheek and forehead. He had short messy hair and thin horns that shot out and curved down ever so slightly, dark tattoos crawled up and down his muscular arms.

When he saw us, his neutral expression turned into a shit-eating grin, sharp teeth almost being bared. This troll screamed highblood.

"Hello," he spoke with a resonating voice. "I am Bluzzo, Quilyn's brother. I believe I need to help keep a certain human... secret?" He did something funky with his s's making them sound like a bunch of z's.

Quilyn beamed, "Yup! Now I need one person riding with me and the rest of you in the bed of the truck and in it with Bluzzo."

"Sollux will go with you, Quilyn," Kanaya smiled.

Sollux nodded. Terezi didn't hesitate to rush into the only seat in the truck.

"Wait," Rose turned to the siblings, "Why is being human bad here?"

Bluzzo raised an eyebrow and Quilyn smiled and pulled a hat out of the truck, slapping it on Rose's head. It was large and pink. It would've been able to hide a troll's horns and covered her face.

"You wanna know why?" Quilyn cooed. Then a devilish smirk appeared on her face. "We'll tell you why humans aren't allowed on Alternia when we get to the shop," she grinned. "Okay?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm beating around the bush now. Oh well~
> 
> Idk why or how I wrote this so quick but I'll just call this a "Why The Hell Not" chapter.
> 
> In other words: I didn't have school. I was fucking bored.
> 
> Enjoy~


End file.
